Lemon Alarm
by lilianthorn
Summary: pairings: Draco/Luna, Xenophilius/Narcissa, mix and match, Giant Squid/everyone- with a twist...    warnings: alien incest hentai bestiality with a touch of wtfishness.
1. Chapter 1

pairings: Draco/Luna, Xenophilius/Narcissa, mix and match, Giant Squid/everyone- with a twist...

warnings: alien incest hentai bestiality with a touch of wtfishness. THIS IS CRACKFIC!

Luna skipped gaily towards the Black Lake. In her seventh year, Hogwarts had become dark and scary and she found the lake to be a quiet escape from the noisy Hall. She tossed her apple up into the air and caught it several times before missing it. The apple rolled away under a bush.

Draco watched as the blonde girl got down on her hands and knees to crawl after the errant fruit. He knew her father was both poor and a bit dim, but today he silently thanked old Xenophilius for having neglected to buy her a new school skirt since first year. Her panties were taut against her ass and he watched it wriggle as she groped blindly beneath the bush for her apple. Draco had an idea. He got behind her and poked her side with his wand growling, "don't move or I'll hex you."

Her sweet voice answered as pleasantly as ever, "Oh hello, Draco, is this a game?"

He pressed his bulging crotch to the thin panties covering her sex and groaned, "unh, yeah, a game...sure."

She pushed back and crooned, "Ooh, Draco, I think I like this game. Mmm, how does it go now?" She was grinding her hips seductively against him. He'd intended to rape her but as the saying goes; you just can't rape the willing. He unzipped his trousers and his huge, throbbing mass of manflesh toppled out and poked at her. She reached back and slid her panties down to her knees and he slammed all the way in with a resounding *splort!*

"Oh!" Luna gasped, "I'm so glad you want to play with me, Draco...you're much bigger than I would have guessed."

He let the unintentional insult slide as he slid in and out of her and her sopping heat caressed him. Her pussy was sweeter, hotter and tighter than any other girl he'd had at Hogwarts. There was only one other girl he knew with a pussy that seemed to suck him in eagerly and massage his cock while he pounded her for all he was worth. It had crossed his mind that he'd taken to watching Luna because of a certain resemblance, but now that he was balls deep in her, he could only think of the luscious fuck he was having.

For some time the only sounds were the soft lapping of the lake against the shore, the wet slopping noise of Draco's cock splitting Luna and their heavy breathing. Then he felt her climax begin rippling inside her, gripping and milking him and he released a monstrous load of sticky cum into her cavern. "Oh!" she cried as she felt the jizz soak her walls and she arched her back, lifted her head and there was a sickening crack as her head hit a branch and then she slumped down, unconscious.

"Crap" cussed Draco. He pulled out and watched the cum run in streams down her milky thighs. He slid her panties up, tucked himself in and left.

By the time they saw each other in Charms that afternoon, she seemed to have recovered. She gave him a sweet smile and went about her school business. But he found the sight of her distracting. He wanted her again. After class he followed her out and she skipped down to the third floor girl's bathroom where she winked at him before going in. He knew it was an invitation. He pushed open the door and found her sitting on a counter kicking her feet and smiling. He was on her in a jiffy, her panties torn off, her mouth plundered by his and his cock buried deep in her flesh. It went in with a sigh and felt like the most perfect place for it to be. This time he pulled her blouse open and fondled her pert little breasts. Her skin was warm and sweet and even the groaning of Moaning Myrtle diddling herself in the corner while watching them couldn't distract him from her.

It was the beginning of a beautiful addiction. Somehow it had been decided they were boyfriend and girlfriend. He didn't argue, he tolerated her chatter in between rampant fucking. He didn't even mind the odd looks, with the Carrows in charge no one dared speak against him. Then as the Winter approached, he received a letter from his mum saying they'd have special guests over the holiday. He didn't mention this to Luna; in fact he barely spoke to her. She looked at him with devoted goggling eyes, but he just pushed his cock down her throat to take his mind off it. He was worried, though, because he had really wanted some alone time with his mum this year.

He said goodbye to Luna before getting on the train by fucking her soundly in every orifice in the mud beside the lake. For some reason he loved getting her dirty and pushing her face into the sticky brown shore while he drove his cock deep into her ass was wildly exciting. He pulled out of her ass and tugged her up and pressed into her mud-slicked lips. She nearly choked but as she sucked she fondled her clit until he pushed her back and finished with explosive cum in her soaked, filthy pussy. A quick scourgify for himself and he let the image of her kneeling in the mud with cum oozing out onto the ground fill his mind before he waved and left.

A few hours later he was kissing his mother's lips with the same mouth that had been licking Luna just that morning. He savored the naughty feeling of it, getting firm again in his trousers. Only a slight smirk showed outwardly. Even still, Narcissa was pleased to see her son.

"How was term, son?" she asked dotingly. He shrugged. "I hear you've got a new girlfriend..."

He did not want to discuss Luna with his mother, so he just scowled and grunted. But when he thought of Luna in the mud, in his mind the image shifted to his mother in her place. The thought made him smile and the tightness in his pants increase. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. "You don't have anything to fear, mother dear, I am forever devoted to you." She could feel his arousal and she hummed softly, smirking.

That evening he had her in the garden. The dormant plants shivered from their fervent movements. He told himself he had what he wanted most, he didn't have to substitute with Luna during the holiday. She came so sweetly and her curling toes tickled his hair as he braced her ankles on his shoulders to plow as deep into her core as his cock could reach. Her face was pink and her hair completely mussed in the dirt. She was like a woodsprite and he fully enjoyed the reunion.

They had barely finished and dressed when a familiar voice greeted him, coming across the lawn. "Hello Draco, are you and your mother encouraging the plants to grow?" Luna called sweetly. He spun around and saw her approaching with a man who looked like her yet with much longer, whiter hair. "Father and I love to help the plants grow every chance we get, don't we father?" The man smiled at her with a sickeningly devoted expression.

"Ah, Xenophilius, I'm so glad you made it alright. Draco and I will be so pleased to have you and Luna for the holidays!" Narcissa gushed reaching for the man's had. The man, Xenophilius, leaned and kissed her hand lingeringly.

"The pleasure will be all ours, I'm sure." He replied with a twinkle in his eyes. Draco glanced from his mother's messed up hair to Luna's serene smile and her father's pleased look with confusion.

"Mother, are these our guests?" he gasped. Before she could answer, Lucius was emerging from the manor calling to them.

"Brother! It's so good to see you again!" to Draco shock, Lucius went right up and hugged Xenophilius for a long time. "It's been too long!"

"Wait...wait...brother?" gasped Draco. Lucius just smiled at him and Xenophilius nodded. "But that means..." he looked at Luna.

Narcissa placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's time you knew the truth, son. You and Luna are twins."

"No." he hissed, "that's not possible!"

"I assure you, it is, I gave birth to you. Both of you." she smiled.

Xenophilius turned to Draco. "Yes, Draco. I am your father."

"NOOOOOOO!" Draco cried.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: For darling Gamma, Inkfire, Bennie, and all my other forum friends! The glorious evolution of squid/Luna has been...er...hatched! *_^_

_(for other lovely readers: the challenge was to write a cheesy anime-style crackfic featuring Luna and the Giant Squid, somehow the idea evolved and will only build in hilarity until it pops! (BYOBB- Bring Your Own Brain Bleach! ;-)_

Narcissa, with her hair loose and a small twig stuck in it, looked even more like Luna than usual. She pulled the girl into her arms saying, "darling, let me look at you!" She held the girl's face in her hands and smiled at her. "Oh yes, 'Philius darling, you've done well. She's grown up quite nicely." With that Narcissa kissed Luna deeply, their rather long tongues entwining with wet sounds. Draco watched until a nosebleed caused him to fall backwards unconscious.

He woke with his head on warm lap gazing up at a curtain of white. "Son?" a kindly voice queried.

"Dad?" Draco mumbled. Then his vision adjusted and he saw it was Xenophilius. "What...what happened?" he sat up and wiped at his face.

Xenophilius was alone with him. "Son, there's a few things you need to understand." Draco groaned, this day had already been full of surprises. "This Winter Solstice is a very special time for our family so it's time for you to know the truth. But I'm not the one who will give you all knowledge, tradition has it that the male heir of the line is taught by The Great Old One at the Ceremony of Continuance. You see, your mother and I are also twins and tomorrow you and Luna are to beget the next heirs."

Draco sat with his mouth open. "Old One"? "Ceremony"? "heirs"? But before he could get details, there was a knock at the door to the sitting room they were in. The door creaked open and there stood two Narcissas!

It wasn't really, but to Draco it looked that way. Narcissa had done both her own and Luna's hair in lovely braids which hugged the sides of their heads, leaving a curtain of pale tresses to fall neatly down their backs. They wore matching deep green dresses which left their shoulders and most of their backs, bare. The dresses were form-fitting and came only mid-thigh. Draco could see the tell-tale tug marks indicating that his mother had worn and given Luna to wear, garters for the shear black thigh high stockings. Even their deep green pumps matched.

Xenophilius seemed not the least surprised, he got up from the couch and when Lucius entered behind the two ladies, Draco saw he and Xenophilius wore matching green suits. "Dinner is ready," Lucius announced with a smile.

"But first," Lucius turned to Draco with an impish grin, "Draco needs preparing!" He strode over to him pulling a small black band from his pocket. Lucius knelt in front of the now standing Draco and unzipped his trousers. He glanced up at him and said simply, "tonight, you must save your seed." Before Draco could question this, Lucius had him deep in his mouth and Xenophilius was holding him up under the arms. The sensation of this man, who until today he believed was his father, sucking him deeply and expertly was maddening. Xenophilius turned his head and kissed his mouth. It was a blur of white blond hair but out of the corner of his eye he saw his mother kissing and fondling Luna again. He wondered just how dinner would go if this was "preparation".

Soon he felt his climax rising in his shaft and just then Lucius' mouth was pulled away and the cold black band secured tightly around his throbbing shaft and balls. It heightened the pleasure but did effectively prevent any ejaculation. Once secure, clothes were replaced and the small party moved to the dining room.

A sumptuous feast was laid out. There was crisp white wine (also forbidden to Draco), a shrimp and scallop bisque, a sea of oysters in their shells, fluffy crab cakes with nori-flavored butter in little scallop dishes, and fettuccine Alfredo with Mahi-Mahi roasted in strips and crumbled over the top.

Lucius sat by Luna who sat by Draco who had Narcissa on his side whose side was covered by Xenophilius. Narcissa was at the head of the table. Lucius was feeding Luna an oyster when it slipped onto her bosom. He wasted no time going after it, his tongue slurping and lapping up the oyster and drenching her chest at the same time.

"Oh, uncle! I see you inherited some family traits then..." Luna gasped. He just murred into her chest, sliding the bodice down and circling her nipple with his long tongue. He slid his hand up the skirt eliciting some lovely noises from the squirming girl. Draco looked around and all eyes were on Luna.

Soon Lucius had Luna on the table and was on top of her. It seemed as though someone had cast a banishment charm on their clothes then as suddenly everyone was stripping down and kissing, fondling or starting to fuck someone. Xenophilius drove his monstrous vein-popping member deep into Lucius while Lucius plowed Luna. Narcissa had bent over the table and Draco had lost himself in the tight cavern of her ass.

Luna gasped to Lucius, "let's turn over!"

"Capital idea my niece," he answered and Xenophilius pulled out just long enough for Lucius to get underneath and Luna straddled him, swallowing his manflesh in her sopping cavern leaving her little ass pucker open to her father to plunder. Soon she had two huge cocks working in her, stroking each other through the thin membrane between her ass and pussy. They all groaned and wriggled and thrusted until with a great shout, both men came in her, loosing a torrent of cream that flooded from her pink holes and covered the table when they pulled out. The jizz ran down the table and coated Narcissa's face while Draco continued plowing her.

"Oh gods, mother, I want to cum so bad, you feel so good." he cried, sweat dripping from his face. Luna slid her drenched pussy under Narcissa's mouth and Narcissa lapped up the sticky goo eagerly. Then Xenophilius got Draco to slide back into the chair so Narcissa was straddling the huge cock deep in her ass, then he pulled her legs up and slid into her pussy. Lucius took her head in his hands and slid his cock into her mouth. The three men worked and bucked in her until red-faced she screamed her climax around Lucius' cock. Both Xenophilius and Lucius came again, leaving Narcissa covered head to groin in white hot liquid. Exhausted, Draco withdrew and was led away by Lucius and Xenophilius to a bath and a bit of rest before the morning's event.

He glanced back to see Luna lapping up cum from their mother's aching pussy. He burned the image into his mind as one of the sweetest moments of family togetherness he'd ever seen.

The men spent the whole night bathing then massaging Draco with oil. They wanted him to be up to his performance in the morning. Naturally the oil slicked men ended up wresting and fucking a bit, but finally they slept in a pile of slick limbs and manly chests and tangles of white blond hair. The women mostly cuddled and talked about babies.

Finally a cold blue dawn erupted in the sky as the family, now clad in white robes apparated to the Black Lake. They were at the far end which was not technically on Hogwarts grounds, but still the castle watched over them with a seemingly protective aura. Narcissa and Xenophilius led Luna into the water until it was up to her waist. A pole emerged by itself from the muck which had a metal ring attached. Xenophilius took his daughter in his arms and kissed her tearfully. "Don't be afraid, my Luna, The Great Old One won't hurt you, it'll be wonderful, you'll see."

Narcissa produced manacles and secured the girl to the post and then kissed her. Luna was blushing prettily as she tested the restraints. Lucius had his arm around Draco on the shore and Narcissa and Xenophilius joined them.

The three adults began swaying and chanting: "Squidoosquidaloo...squidoosquidaloo..." they repeated over and over building in pace and volume until finally shouting and throwing up their hands, "squidoosquidaloo, squidaloonius, Squidalus!" Just then many slick rubbery tentacles erupted from the lake and groped at Luna.

"He's here!" gasped Narcissa. She turned to Draco and started undressing him. The tentacles were stroking and caressing Luna all over. She was gasping and moaning as the deft tentacles stripped her naked and gently slid against her skin. Then, a great elongated head rose up just above the water. Draco saw it's black glistening eyes on him. Though he could not see a mouth, he felt as though the giant creature was smiling at him. Then a tentacle pressed into Luna and she arched her back, her mouth a perfect "O" of surprise. The slick cold rubbery appendage squelched and squeezed deep into her. It was thicker than any of her family's cock's. Another massive tentacle probed deep in her ass, massaging her womb through the membrane. The first tentacle was rubbing her cervix while two others held her secure.

Draco was watching, intrigued. "Is that...the Giant Squid?" he asked.

Narcissa had him naked and was fondling his still bound cock. The softness of her hands was maddening. Lucius and Xenophilius were sucking each other in a "69" position laying atop their now discarded robes. Narcissa answered, "That is Squidalus, my son, he is The Great Old One. He is our ancestor. He came from the distant planet of Raveelius and has been watching over his offspring for centuries. It began with Rowena and Salazar; the first twins. They helped found Hogwarts with their other brother and sister. The twins in each generation come here at the Winter Solstice when they are 18 to beget the next twins. Only Squidalus can bless us with twins, other siblings may be had by joining with other brothers and sisters. In this way our family has grown to create the Wizarding world as we know it today. But only our direct line is of the original twins and you, my son, will beget the next twins in Luna with the aid of our honorable ancestor."

"OOOOH!" Luna screamed just then. Narcissa smiled and removed the band from him. He groaned when the pressure left his balls. Then a tentacle caught him up. He was shocked at its strength and tried to find the creature's face. It was slurping at Luna's pussy, but soon pulled Draco to her and pressed him to her. Draco took his sister in his arms and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He thrust his aching swollen cock into the soft wet furrows of her flesh and she cried out from the switch from cold tentacle to hot manflesh.

A tentacle slid deep into Draco's ass and a sucker probed his perineum. He had felt when his cock entered her that it punctured a membrane, after there was a gush of cold liquid and he came and came. His seed mixing with the squid's and pouring into Luna. Her belly swelled with it. Draco looked at her face, she was beaming. Her arms were still secured over her head and her eyes were glassy. The cum spilled and spilled from him with the encouragement of Squidalus who probed him gently but firmly. The twins writhed against each other moaning until the excess cum spilled out around Draco's throbbing cock, over his balls and into the water.

At each place the mixed cum hit the water, tiny baby grindylows were spawned which swam away to find sustenance. Then it was done and Draco released Luna from the pole. It was time for celebration. Everyone was in the water then getting probed and bound by strong firm tentacles. Squidalus was smiling his mysterious smile and his children came and writhed in his tentacled embrace.

Once his human children were exhausted and lay resting upon the shore, he sent a telepathic message to them:

_My darling children, I am pleased with your progress. Our plan is nearing completion. Luna and Draco are the perfection of my offspring and thus must return every year to beget more of our kind. We shall release our excellence upon the world at last, and all the world shall come to know and love our ways. Go now and get ready for your newest heirs. Go with my loving blessings._

Narcissa was already robing Luna and doting on her and the grandchildren she carried. Draco looked back at the squid's soft eyes and loved his ancestor, finally understanding why his family was so different; so special.

~The End~


End file.
